Lost Forever
by maspar
Summary: Thoughts and feeling of Daniel Jackson throughout the episode Forever in a Day.


Author's Note: This is the first piece of fanfic I ever wrote, originally archived on Heliopolis back in 2000. Actually, this is the first thing I ever really wrote... A month before this, I used to be illiterate, lol. Anyway, enjoy and please R&R!

Recommended viewing 'Forever in a Day'.

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They say she's dead.

She can't be. I don't believe them; I won't believe them. I just saw her alive, on Abydos. Her guards wouldn't leave her there.

She's alive.

They took her back to Apophis; he wouldn't let her die; he put her in their sarcophagus.

She's still out there somewhere. I just have to find her.

I see her, lying there on the cold metal table, still, pale and lifeless.

This is all Teal'c's fault. He didn't have to kill her. She would have fought it, beaten it. She was strong; strong enough to push back what possessed her; strong enough to regain control.

She wouldn't have killed me. Teal'c is the one who has killed me. I feel empty, lost and dead. I feel as she is.

I know she's just trying to help, but I don't really think that cookies will make that much difference, but I still appreciate her concern.

Magic. If only it were that simple. To her it would have been, but not to me. I miss her, I miss the way she took everything in awe. It was all magic to her. Sam says it's healthy to hold on to those memories. Well, I don't want memories; I want the chance to make new ones.

I hope that Jack can understand my decision. I can't stay. I can no longer walk through this interminable concrete labyrinth or travel across the galaxy in search for something that just isn't there.

There are too many memories within these walls. Memories of hope that can no longer be filled. These memories have been replaced by feelings of anger, desperation and hate, feelings that I don't want to face; not just yet anyway.

Forgiveness?. He wants my forgiveness. He killed her. I finally found her and he took her away. The only way I could forgive him is if he could bring her back.

I always said that nothing was impossible just improbable. I guess I was wrong, because the one thing that I want more than life itself is the one thing that truly is impossible.

I'm going to miss them. There my best friends and now they're the closest thing I have to family. But I can't go back; It's hard enough to face them let alone the fest of the SGC. Hopefully the more space I put between myself and the Stargate, the easier it will be. I only have to face everyone one more time, at the funeral.

The weighing of the heart ceremony. The ceremony in which the deceased is proven true to live eternity with Osiris or to have a heart full of sin, which in turn would be fed to Ammit the devourer of hearts, then the deceased would truly be dead.

How can they still believe in these gods, after all they've seen after all they have experienced. Being slaves to Ra, having their own kind stolen from them. Yet they still have faith. I suppose that one never really losses faith. It's the one thing you can take refuge in, whether it is with Egyptian or Christian gods.

This is an all too familiar scene, Jack trying to get rid of Robert as he once did me.

I can't walk away; I owe it to her and the Abydonians. There's still something out there. I have to find the child.

I can't explain it to anyone, because I can't really explain to myself. But I know she wants me to do this; I know she wouldn't want me to quit. Not after I was so close to finding her and the child.

"You are finally here."

"Yes."

"You are the only one who can save the boy, Daniel."

"He's a Harsisis. He contains all their knowledge."

"Amonet took the Abydonians as a show. So that Hera'ur would not know her true goal."

"To take the boy?"

"She has sent him into hiding with her closest aid."

"Where?"

"Keb."

"I know a Keb. The -- there's a reference in Budge. It's the mythical place where Osiris hid, from Seth. Keb is a myth."

"No. Promise me you will save the child."

"I promise."

"I love you Daniel," said Sha're as Teal'c's staff weapon drew her last breath away.

"I am sorry Daniel Jackson," apologised Teal'c as he lowered his weapon.

"You did the right thing Teal'c," replied Daniel as he lay on the floor next to his wife.

Just then Jack and Sam burst through the entrance of the tent causing Teal'c to turn around ready to fire, but Daniel didn't move an inch.

"Oh god," gasped Sam as she saw both Daniel and Sha're lying on the floor.

"Teal'c?" questioned Jack.

"Daniel Jackson will be fine," answered Teal'c.

"I love you too," Daniel said softly as he gently stroked Sha're's face.

It's over; it's finally over. And for that I am grateful. She no longer has to witness the death and destruction of things that were out of her control. She no longer has to see the fear in the faces of Amonet's victims and she no longer has to feel the pain of being trapped in a unending nightmare.

Her soul is at peace and she is free.

Good bye my love.


End file.
